Do you worry about what others think of you? We’ve all been there before. But when you find yourself looking for others approval - I ask you this: what is it that you are actually looking for?
Validation? Acceptance? Approval? Whatever you are looking for, you are searching for it externally from an outside factor, when those answers are actually found from within.
So let’s take this moment to go inside…
I ask you this: do you approve of yourself?
Now I know that’s a big question, so take a moment for a nice deep breath or two.
When you develop a habit of seeking external approval you can become lost in pleasing others and in turn, lose sight of who you are.
What makes you YOU? (I know, another big question)
When someone wants to get to know you, they're trying to form a connection. They want to learn about your likes, dislikes, thoughts, and feelings on things.
But if you’re constantly looking to others for approval - there is a loss of you, the essence of who you are.
How can you truly connect with another when you aren’t connected to yourself first?
By having your own self approval and self respect you will in turn gain others approval because people will better understand who you are. It won’t hurt as much when they don’t approve of who you are, because you will be able to identify that that is their opinion not your own.
So let’s work on building that muscle together. When you work out, your physical muscles get stronger and stronger, and it’s the same when you make the decision to approve of yourself - it takes time and practice to strengthen those muscles too.
So where do you start? My clients have found the “Getting to Know You” exercise very helpful - I’ve attached the guide below for you to try.
Think of your week. How has it been? What made this week special? What challenges did you experience?
Then separate your likes and dislikes and write them out in the appropriate columns.
Once you have your lists, you can work through what you don’t like to create more of what you do like for yourself and your life.
This exercise is a very helpful tool in becoming more self aware, and also to work on creating the life you want for yourself - not how others think your life should be.
You are each unique, and I believe there is an important reason and lesson behind everything that you go through. Let’s work together to start your journey towards self discovery and uncovering your own unique lessons!
Considering one-on-one coaching? For a free, no pressure consultation contact me HERE!
Esther Malky Growth Focus Life Coach #growthfocus #lifecoach #selfapproval